Warming Up

Y’all – this time is just the preparation for what comes next – I am feeeeeeelin’ it!

I’m also so so so cold, so I’m finding “warming” analogies to not feel so frozen.

But, really. I’m making preparations for the rest of this year – whatever it holds.

I’m writing a musical. I’m lining up more teaching gigs. I’m searching for other possible ways to teach dance music and theatre from home AND outside of the house. I need to have that to look forward to. I NEED IT.

I had another enlightening but ROUGH meeting with my therapist this week, and it centered on the traumas that are coming up for me through our talks. The ways I have held myself back and the ways I sell myself out and short. My role as peacekeeper as a child was not an easy one to fully grow out of, and a lot of the things I carry around with me are directly related to that time.

And it keeps coming up in waves.

I have things I want to accomplish in my life that I always said were for another time, another place.

Another person.

Well, I am that person. And I will make things happen.

And this will pass. I’m feeling better about it.

Some days are just much harder than others. And the -20 air temps are not helping.

But I’m grateful for my home, which provides me warmth and shelter. I’m happy to be living with people I love and care about.

And it’s going to be 30 degrees next week – so there’s that.

❤ Kay Jay

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