Kay Jay’s New Website!

Good morning!

Kay Jay here with some exciting news!

I am in the process of starting up my very own website for Kay Jay Olson Music where I will give updates on new music composition, educational tips, and links to my other artistic and educational endeavors!

Please take a little jaunt on over to that site and check it out (but be careful, we’re still under construction!)

Head on over:

kayjayolsonmusic.com

In addition, we’re still going strong on our commitment to cooking at home more frequently, substituting alcohol for more laughter and comedy around the house (and some delicious mocktails – recipes to come), and getting in some sort of movement every day!

We’re trying some new things and seeing what sticks.

WHAT JOY

❤ Kay Jay

End of February

Hello! Pardon my absence from posting but February has been a long, dark and cold month. I have done ok though, health goal wise and spirit wise. Work is falling into place. Still stressful but getting better each day.

Health goal wise, I want to step it up and meet my goals, but I’m struggling with having the energy to work out on top of work. A lot of people have offered me tips and ultimately I think I just need to schedule it and do it. In the meantime I know I can eat healthy and stay connected socially. Staying connected is so important right now.

My goal for this week is to do 20 minutes of physical activity each day and stay eating plant based.

Peace and Love,

-Shim Sham

Warming Up

Y’all – this time is just the preparation for what comes next – I am feeeeeeelin’ it!

I’m also so so so cold, so I’m finding “warming” analogies to not feel so frozen.

But, really. I’m making preparations for the rest of this year – whatever it holds.

I’m writing a musical. I’m lining up more teaching gigs. I’m searching for other possible ways to teach dance music and theatre from home AND outside of the house. I need to have that to look forward to. I NEED IT.

I had another enlightening but ROUGH meeting with my therapist this week, and it centered on the traumas that are coming up for me through our talks. The ways I have held myself back and the ways I sell myself out and short. My role as peacekeeper as a child was not an easy one to fully grow out of, and a lot of the things I carry around with me are directly related to that time.

And it keeps coming up in waves.

I have things I want to accomplish in my life that I always said were for another time, another place.

Another person.

Well, I am that person. And I will make things happen.

And this will pass. I’m feeling better about it.

Some days are just much harder than others. And the -20 air temps are not helping.

But I’m grateful for my home, which provides me warmth and shelter. I’m happy to be living with people I love and care about.

And it’s going to be 30 degrees next week – so there’s that.

❤ Kay Jay

Hitting a Rough Patch

Good morning you beautiful human you! Unless this is a cat reading this. In which case, you beautiful feline you.

I’m having a really rough week emotionally. For about the last 10ish days, I’ve been feeling trapped, antsy, and on a trigger with my emotional outbursts. So much of it comes from the fact that I have been in nearly full-quarantine for the past year (Almost – It will be a full year next month)

And I’m getting stir crazy.

A lot of it also comes from the fact that it has been subzero here in the upper midwest for over a week, and we have another week of it to go. I’m trying to live in the here and now, and just hunker in and get cozy.

Because warmer days are on the other side, right?

Well, yes. However, because of our general response to this pandemic, we are still going to need to take precautions. Many of my favorite summer activities will need to be modified. I’m still struggling to think about the fact that I probably won’t be able to get together with friends over the summer.

And yet, I’m also trying my hardest to see it differently.

The vaccine roll out is gaining traction and has (at the very very least) a functioning and capable government behind it. I am genuinely hopeful that I will be able to be vaccinated by my birthday in May, and will then be able to go back to work in some capacity. (With a face shield and a mask for myself, and probably at least a mask for my students). I may even be comfortable with sitting outside with people this summer – maybe even in a public space. Again, distanced with a mask.

I’m not alone in this. I know that. AND I needed some time after finishing my thesis and my Master’s on the whole to recharge my social and mental batteries and work towards new projects for the other side of this pandemic. And I had that time. And now my batteries have been left on the charger for too long – I’m building up too much energy and it’s starting to actually exhaust me and make me feel both ready to burst as well as ready to go back to bed the moment I wake up.

So that’s where I’m at. I know that there are a number of ways I can take care of myself and feel whole and like I have connections. I can make it through this. Even if it’s another 5-6 months.

I just hope that the next path doesn’t keep getting moved farther down the line.

❤ Kay Jay

Leaving Room for REST

Hello all! Mama Shim Sham and all you beautiful souls!

I’m a gal on the go – a queer who needs to move quick – someone who rarely takes the time to STOP.

And that’s what I’m working on right now.

I have started up a whole new set of weekly videos on my personal channel – I have a video that I make for our blog weekly. I’m adapting my solo album into a musical and writing new music – I’m learning new pedagogical techniques for teaching music.

I have a lot that I’m exploring right now.

I’m working on myself. I’m digging deep into the past and letting the ugliness come up – even when it hurts.

I know that I am headed for major burnout if I don’t take some time to RELAX.

So that’s what I want to make sure I include into my day to day. A little break.

And also a little break for myself if one of my many juggling pieces falls to the ground. I can pick it back up – I can ask for help. I can just let it fall and get to it later.

But I don’t need to let it cause a downward spiral.

But it also COULD.

That’s the risk I’m taking being a freelancer and focusing on creating my own livelihood and job opportunities. I have a lot that I need to explore and continue to learn.

And doing that will be easier if I take some time to REST. To BREATHE.

I will be better at taking stock of things. I will have a clearer mind to be able to function when things get tough. I’ll have more energy to get things done.

I’ll feel like myself more of the time.

So that’s what February is about. Being my usual productive self, with just a touch more time to RELAX.

Because baby steps.

❤ Kay Jay